i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
