I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
