Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
