I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize