operation have a gay friend backfired
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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