he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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