I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
