the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think your dad took our porno
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
