dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
