it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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