if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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