Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
