im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
