Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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