your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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