So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That accounts for only three of the penises
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
