so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
