guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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