what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
