the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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