Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
