I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
