that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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