Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
