So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
