Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
