I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize