a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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