I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
