I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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