who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
