How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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