i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
