somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
