This dress was meant to end up on your floor
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize