I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My dick has a subreddit
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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