I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
