I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
