I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
