My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
