Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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