how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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