I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
