is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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