He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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