did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
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No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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