she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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