she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
