You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
