At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
