My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
