I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
