By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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