whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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