oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
