what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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