i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
