i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
