oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
