i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
