I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
