Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
